this whole ship is sinking and i still believe in anchors

We’re all born to broken people on their most honest day of living
and since that first breath... We’ll need grace that we’ve never given
I've been haunted by standard red devils and white ghosts
and it's not only when these eyes are closed
these lies are ropes that I tie down in my stomach,
but they hold this ship together tossed like leaves in this weather
and my dreams are sails that I point towards my true north,
stretched thin over my rib bones, and pray that it gets better
but it won’t won’t, at least I don’t believe it will...
so I've built a wooden heart inside this iron ship,
to sail these blood red seas and find your coasts.
don’t let these waves wash away your hopes
this war-ship is sinking, and I still believe in anchors
pulling fist fulls of rotten wood from my heart, I still believe in saviors
but I know that we are all made out of shipwrecks, every single board
washed and bound like crooked teeth on these rocky shores
so come on and let’s wash each other with tears of joy and tears of grief
and fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach
come on and sew us together, tattered rags stained forever
we only have what we remember

I am the barely living son of a woman and man who barely made it
but we’re making it taped together on borrowed crutches and new starts
we all have the same holes in our hearts...
everything falls apart at the exact same time
that it all comes together perfectly for the next step
but my fear is this prison... that I keep locked below the main deck
I keep a key under my pillow, it’s quiet and it’s hidden
and my hopes are weapons that I’m still learning how to use right
but they’re heavy and I’m awkward...always running out of fight
so I’ve carved a wooden heart, put it in this sinking ship
hoping it would help me float for just a few more weeks
because I am made out of shipwrecks, every twisted beam
lost and found like you and me scattered out on the sea
so come on let’s wash each other with tears of joy and tears of grief
and fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach
come on and sew us together, just some tattered rags stained forever
we only have what we remember

My throat it still tastes like house fire and salt water
I wear this tide like loose skin, rock me to sea
if we hold on tight we’ll hold each other together
and not just be some fools rushing to die in our sleep
all these machines will rust I promise, but we'll still be electric
shocking each other back to life
Your hand in mine, my fingers in your veins connected
our bones grown together inside
our hands entwined, your fingers in my veins braided
our spines grown stronger in time
because are church is made out of shipwrecks
from every hull these rocks have claimed
but we pick ourselves up, and try and grow better through the change
so come on yall and let’s wash each other with tears of joy and tears of grief
and fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach
come on and sew us together, were just tattered rags stained forever
we only have what we remember

"I am going to choose the wisdom of the Word over the wisdom of the world."

The Word is not wisdom without action.  In order to understand the Word, we have to DO SOMETHING with it (what is faith without action?).  I am so guilty of this - becoming frustrated in my relationship with God, feeling as if it's not going anywhere and then I'm reminded about my lack of action.  How selfish and ignorant of me to think that knowing God will not take work; that having "faith" is just believing that things are going to be okay because I believe in God.  Umm...no.  I wish it were that easy.  I love how she says that anything that is truly good for us our flesh will oppose.  She goes on to give the example of placing a bowl of ice cream and a bowl of spinach in front of you and asking which one we will want to eat.  I mean who is really going to choose spinach over ice cream?  Yet, we know that spinach would be the healthier option, but because we are conditioned with this need for instant gratification and to please our senses, we will choose the ice cream.  It tastes better, it's sweeter; it's more satisfying in the moment.

A relationship with God requires discipline.  I have to learn to delay gratification; to understand that God works on a different time frame than I do and that what ever he has in store for me is way better than anything I could possibly plan for myself.  Every time I decide that I'm too tired or just don't feel like praying, reading the bible or being in community, I'm delaying the work that God wants to do in me.  I'm delaying receiving the fruits of the spirit that God so desperately wants me to have.  The everyday choice of spending time with God has a consequence, which may not be evident in that moment.  It may be during those times that God is answering prayers or teaching me things that will have a profound impact.

I dunno... just thoughts I was having after watching this video.  I'm off to read Ephesians.

living in congruence

Ray Stedman’s Authentic Christianity from a section entitled “The Battle Already Won”:

“Since we can live only in one area of relationships of our life at any given moment, it is evident that we can be in a Spirit-controlled area one moment and in a flesh-dominated area the next. This is why we can be a great person to live with one minute (delightful, because we are in the Spirit) and then a moment later some old habit of the flesh reasserts itself and we are right back in our old covenant behavior—harsh, nasty, or cruel. When we become aware of those feelings within, we know we will lose our Christian reputation if we are allowed to show, so we snatch an evangelical veil and hide the fading glory.

But how encouraging to know that the Spirit will never give up the battle! He seeks in a thousand ways to invade each separate relationship of the soul, and gradually He is doing so—sometimes faster, as we yield to him; sometimes very slowly, as we resist and cling to our veils. The more we work and live with the face of Jesus clearly in view, the more quickly we find each area of our life being changed into His likeness” (102-103).