to hell with rejection

Steven and Dora Manuel teaching on the spirit of rejection (click for mp3 of the teaching)

(the following are merely notes from the teaching with a few added anecdotes/comments)

• rejection = misplaced identity
• misplaced identity leads to idolatry (e.g. affirmation) and dismissal of the acceptance we have from God
• there is ONE place on earth where I should get my identity

The acceptance I receive from the Lord is absurd.  He has every reason to not approve of me.  He knows every little piece of me, even the things I deny or am unaware of - every bit of sin.  There will be times when the Lord does not approve of me or something I have done, but he accepts me exactly as I am.  And even in the midst of my sin and brokenness, He looks me square in the eye and says "you, I will receive."

Doorways to rejection:

• Generational - any dispossessed or ruled over people and tribes 
• In the womb - any unwanted pregnancy. Anything that happens in the womb has an impact on the spirit of that child. This is an interesting thing to think about because I was a twin, which caught my mom by surprise.  We often joke because I was smaller and born first that my twin brother hogged all the food and kicked me out first. Today we have a very strained relationship.  I'm not saying that this is the reason, but an interesting factor perhaps.
• Parent's death - when mom or dad leaves, even in death, is a rejection.  My dad died when I was 10 and he chose to take his own life. Double whammy. 
• Divorce
• Absent father
• A performance oriented home
• Silence from a loved one
• Lack of nurturing
• Condemning and criticism - I can still recall the one time my dad was frustrated in trying to fix the couch and he told me I was useless. Just interesting how something so small sticks with you.
• Idolizing any person or group
• Church hurts (religion)
• Snubs and Abandonment 
• Rebellion

We are born with a great need to be accepted.  Rejection steals the truth from us that we are accepted in the ultimate way by God our father.  Our natural inclination (from the spirit of rejection) when we are rejected is to go back to that person or situation and get more of the same: rejection loves to be rejected.  We often deal with rejection in one of two ways: either rejecting others before they can reject us, or throwing ourselves at people too quickly. 

"Rejection reminds us of our deep need to be loved, but constantly tells us that we are unlovable."

Rejection both has an unnatural craving for approval and it pushes people away. Rejection builds a wall around you so that no one can hurt you. Performance is a way to receive "acceptance" and "approval" by our actions. It can have you never express yourself to keep from being "found out," as a means of avoiding rejection, but still receiving it because we don't let people in. When we agree with rejection, we are sinning because it elevates man's acceptance of us over God's.

In every situation, I need to ask myself "where am I finding my identity right now?"

God says:

• Don't look for an anchor in a friend, spouse or parent - they will all fail you at some point.  We were made for a desire and a need for God.
• At our core we are accepted and loved. 
• Worth. Acceptance. Love. All come from God. Whatever else we get from others is just a gift.
• key verses: Luke 12:7;' John 1:11-13; Romans 8:13-21, 29; 1 John 3:1-3; Galatians 4:6-7; Ephesians 1:4-6

CONFESS: 

“I am worthy because Jesus’ blood makes me worthy. 

I am a son of God and I cannot be rejected by God. 

I am special because I was uniquely handmade by the King of Kings. 

My heavenly Father loves me so much, that He wanted me to be His child. 

I am loved so much, that a big party was thrown in heaven when I was adopted into the royal family. 

I am so special to my heavenly father that He rejoices over me with great joy. 

My heavenly Father loves me so much, that there is no sin that I could take to Him that He would not forgive. 

My Father will never leave or abandon me.”

"Though my father and mother (insert other relationship) forsake me, the Lord will receive me." - Psalm 27:10

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I think it was God's perfect timing in having my mentor introduce me to this teaching this week. I choose to believe that God is equipping me to combat the lie that I'm easy to leave/walk away from and to root my worth in my identity as a Son. There's plenty more to be said on that subject, but I'll leave it at that.