The Gifts of Imperfection

I've fallen off the blog universe for quite some time and I've blogged about Brene Brown before, so I figured this was a good enough reason to take a stab at another entry.  I simply plan to record my thoughts and responses as I'm reading, so it could be a jumbled mess. I apologize in advance. 

First off, the cover of this book reminds me why I read actual books instead of reading on a Kindle or some other electronic device. I don't know what other way to describe it as other than almost velvety.  It reminds me of the cover to Greg Boyd's Letters From A Skeptic, and that book played a significant role in kick-starting my journey of reading the bible and trying to understand God for myself. So if this cover is any indicator, this book is about to rock my world. And if not, at least it will feel really nice on my fingertips.

As I begin to embark upon the journey of reading Brene Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection, and the journey of "letting go of who I think I'm supposed to be and embracing who I am," I'm comforted in knowing that half the battle has already been won for me. Her three things she says to bring along are: courage, compassion and connection - what she refers to as "the gifts of imperfection" that help for developing worthiness.  And worthiness being key to wholehearted living, because from worthiness we overcome shame and receive joy. So why is the battle already partially won? Well, because my worth does not need to be developed; it already exists and comes from my Heavenly Father.  I don't think this journey will be about mustering up these "gifts" for myself, but realizing that I already have them because they are in the image of my creator (and we're made in His image - see Genesis 1). I think this will be a journey of receiving the beauty and worth of my imperfection on a deeper level and as a result more fully receiving and functioning in the gifts/fruits of the Spirit.  Okay, so that may not be much different than what Brown is talking about here and is probably why her therapist called the journey leading up to the writing of this book a "spiritual awakening."

Anyways, moving on... [edited]
I started reading this book several months ago and then fell away from it. So I'm starting all over from the beginning, and the first quote that stands out to me this time is: 

"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do."  

Yes, please. I want to be brave. I want to face all that is broken and uncertain and to love every piece of it; to embrace that which is broken as an opportunity for healing and redemption; an opportunity for more joy. 

It's crazy how you can miss so many little things the first time reading through something and here I am being hit in the face with the first two sentences in the Preface. The PREFACE.  

"Once you see a pattern, you can't un-see it."  

My mentor and Brene Brown must be kindred spirits. I wouldn't say that I am typically a seer of patterns. Maybe that's not an accurate assessment, but it's been my experience that it is often easier to "fix" someone else's problems than to recognize and address my own. Perhaps it's why I've become a therapist (that's a scary thought).  But I hope that the journey of reading this book will open my eyes to patterns in my own life.  And for anyone that I know who might be reading this and you see the patterns that I don't see, please feel free to smack me in the face with them.  But let's hope it doesn't come down to that. I prefer to do the smacking.

(now back to our regularly written entry) 

This is the first quote that stood out to me:

"We can talk about courage and love and compassion until we sound like a greeting card store, but unless we're willing to have an honest conversation about what gets in the way of putting these into practice in our daily lives, we will never change... Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light."

This last sentence is powerful for me, but I'd remove that last "our."  How many verses in the bible refer to the power of God being made known in our weakness or being told not to fear? (e.g. Isaiah 41:10; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10; Lamentations 2:21-27; 2 Timothy 1:7; the list goes on and on) It's not the power of our light that is discovered, but the power of our Lord and Savior. It's when we let go of control and surrender our will, our doubt, our fear, our insecurity and choose to trust that Jesus is who he says he is, that we discover the power of the light. (These are just to cite a few of the many verses regarding God/Jesus being light)

• When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” - John 8:12 

• This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. - 1 John 1:5

•  You, Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light. - 2 Samuel 22:29

• The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? - Psalm 27:1  

• For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light - Ephesians 5:8

Alright, so I had intentions of making this one long entry in response to the entire book, but I've been blogging as I've been reading and including parallel verses from the Bible has made this entry a little longer than I anticipated.  So, I will likely post several different entries as I go through the book.  But I'm affirmed in the concept of the book as a whole and research that Brown has done because I believe wholehearted living is the same thing as fully living in the Spirit.  I think that will only become more evident as I continue to read and consider its application to my own life.  So, if this sounds remotely interesting to you, pick up the book and read along. :)

Post-Easter prayers

"The angel said to the women, 'Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: "He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him." Now I have told you.'" Matthew 28:5-7 (NIV)

• "Do not be afraid," - God, I hand over to You those things that make me so afraid. Resurrect the parts of my faith squelched by fear.

• "I know that you are looking for Jesus," - God, when my soul is searching, help me know the answer to every longing can be found in You.

• "He has risen," - God, the fact that Jesus is risen should lift my head, my heart and my attitude. Help me to live today as if I really believe this with every part of my life.

• "just as he said," - Jesus, You keep Your promises. Help me live as though I believe that with every part of me. Help me trust You more, obey You more and resemble You more.

• "Come and see," - Jesus, You had the angels invite the women in to see for themselves that You had risen. You invite me into these personal revelations every day. Forgive me for sometimes rushing about and forgetting to come and see for myself ... You, Your Word, Your insights.

• "Then go quickly and tell his disciples," - Jesus, I don't want to be a secret keeper with my faith. I want to be a bold and gracious truth proclaimer. For You. With You. Because of You. Me, the unwanted girl whom You loved, redeemed and wanted.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.

(copyright http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/6-prayers-to-pray-the-week-after-easter/)

ashes to beauty

 

Tan Man, this is how I'll remember you. As the life of the party. Willing to dress or act as silly as possible to make others laugh. Always smiling, joking or sharing some random bit of knowledge about your latest interest. There's so much I don't understand. I have to remind myself that this is real. 

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

because the Lord has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the Lord

for the display of his splendor.

in every change, He will remain.

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on your side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In every change, He will remain.
Be still, my soul: your God will undertake
To guide the future, as in ages past.
Your hope, your mind, your will let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's joy restored.
Be still my soul, Be still my soul
And praise Him, and praise Him.