An old friend is getting married today. It very much makes me miss the innocence of my childhood and playing manhunt on Friday nights. Having two of the best hiding spots where no one ever found me. Sarah breaking her arm during one of said games. Blooper soccer in the backyard. "Jerrod passes to Bubba. Bubba passes back" = my brother using the garage as a replacement for his partner. Sitting around the table at dinner as a family and Bubba being the only one to out-eat my father. My dad puffing his stomach up after dinner so he looked like he was pregnant. My dad being alive and happy or at least so I thought. The simplicity of being a kid. The biggest fight between my twin and I being about him calling me "fat." As much as it hurt my feelings at the time, I'd much rather be arguing and name-calling about stupid stuff then the present reality.
I guess it's just sad, that for no other reason than the passing of time, friends can be separated and walk different paths. I would have loved to be witnessing our old family friend getting married today. I even dreamed about it last night. I think part of me just longs for the past and how easy everything seems in retrospect. I miss the genuineness of his family and the person my brother used to be when they were friends. When the worst thing about my brother was his retched-smelling feet and Bubba's mom making him wash his feet before going to bed because otherwise he'd stink up the sheets.
Even though I haven't seen or spoke to Bubba in years, I know the goodness in him has not changed. It's instilled in him through his parents and I see it in his siblings. I think of Bubba and I see the path my brother should have been on; the kind of friend he needs in his life now. Most of all it makes me hope that one day my brother will be in a healthy place where it will be his marriage I will get to celebrate.
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