necessary endings.

This theme of [ letting go - pruning - ending ] has been everywhere around me lately and I'm being challenged to see this as a good thing. I have a horrible time letting go, particularly when it comes to people. I struggle with change. Yet, God is pushing me to see that change is good. He's even challenging me to let go of good things for the potential of something greater. This is not easy.

A key example in my life right now is the engagement of my best friend. I am overjoyed for her and her fiance, yet my happiness is tinged with sadness as I think about what this ultimately means: the loss of my roommate. Granted that is a ways down the road, but I feel the perceived loss now. It's something I've talked about with her, so it's not like I'm airing dirty laundry on the internet. I don't feel this as heavily as I did at first and God is moving me to a place of excitement in the season/journey to come. I'm excited for my friend and the ways I will be able to share in this journey with her, as well as the changes to come for me. I'm excited for the prospect of a new roommate, who could not possibly take the place of my current one, but who will bring new challenges, joy and growth.

This morning I was listening to a sermon on necessary endings given by Dr. Henry Cloud in which he talks about how endings are a part of God's plan for our lives. He gives the example of a rose bush and how it produces too many buds and cannot sustain them all. The gardener has to determine which are the best buds that are going to make it to full fruition of what a rose ought to be and has to prune the rest, so those few will be able to receive the resources they need. He focuses a lot on the passage from Ecclesiastes, acknowledging that in certain seasons of our life something or someone may have had a purpose in our lives, but at later points God is calling us to let that thing/person go. Out of fear, we may cling to that thing/person/situation or we try to "recycle old inventory" (i.e. we try to revert to old ways or relationships expecting it to be different). We can either choose to go to the new land or we can go back to what we know and what is comfortable, even if it's not healthy.

• "We create a future that's just like our present because we just keep doing the same thing over and over."  
• Endings take courage.  
• There must be a death before a resurrection. 

And then the daily devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries hit on the same topic. I love this excerpt:

I had a choice: I could concentrate on my perceived loss or I could center my attention on God's perspective and His purpose for my life. You see, God's plans for us do not include looking back, longing for the past, or wishing for days gone by. Instead we can ask our faithful Father to point us toward a new purpose. He'll give us His perspective on our future.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." - This is my prayer for this season.