boss your heart around

King David was really good at telling his heart and soul what to do. In Psalm 103 he said: "Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name" (vs. 1). I decided to follow his example. In the midst of my turmoil and troubles, I told my soul to praise the Lord. 

Now this wasn't a superficial "say your bedtime prayers" talk to my soul. No, this was a deep-down, preach it to my inmost being, "GOD IS GOOD no matter what your feelings are telling you" sermon. I bossed my heart with Truth and pulled it away from the pit by telling myself to "forget not ALL his benefits" (Ps. 103:2). 

Then I walked my heart down memory lane, reminding it of the One who:
Forgives all [my] sins and heals all [my] diseases,
who redeems [my] life from the pit
and crowns [me] with love and compassion,
who satisfies [my] desires with good things
so that [my] youth is renewed like the eagle's. (Ps. 103:3-5 NIV)

I cannot even pinpoint a reason for the way I currently feel or even a good way to describe it; other than perhaps blah, which makes the feeling even more unfounded and annoying. There's a lot unfolding around me and big changes happening in people's lives, but none of it directly involves me.  Yet, somehow I feel like I'm carrying the weight of it and feeling discouraged and angry when things are not going "our" way.  My current response is to want to isolate and escape.  I have this intense desire to hide away in a remote cabin in the woods and curl up in front of a fire with a book and just forget the world.  I think part of this desire stems from this false notion that I have to fix it all and support everyone.  I don't know...but that's all I've got for now...

Psalm 43:5, "Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!" (NLT)